Charlton Down Cricket Club

Charlton Down vs. Cattistock

Tuesday 8 July 2008

Charlton Down edge it by the width of a Snails shell!

CDCC, on their latest away trip to Cattistock edged a high scoring thriller, as Chris Coates-Dale caught the last ball preventing Cattistock from scoring a six to tie the match.

Keenness abounded as CDCC players arrived at Cattistock with Adam blowing the rest of the Zimbabwe economy on a taxi all the way from Dorchester.

Out went the two Andy’s to bat in front of a capacity crowd of forty five Friesian cows with Capt Coz soon splatting the ball into them. Old Andy got out allowing the man with the cricketing pedigree, namely Edward Thomas Elliot-Square, to enter the fray.

Coz continued to bonk while E T E-S. (We’ll call him Albert for short – Albert – Square – der?) played the classic shots that showed that he used to play for “Sherbun”.

Coz got to 59 and Albert got to 50 (average only 12.5, as he used four bats). 

The more professional journalist would have remarked “Square hit the ball with geometrical precision through the circle of fielders in the triangle between cover and mid off”, but your amateur correspondent couldn’t think of that.

In the middle of all this we saw a short innings full of high speed running by Snail! – A new model this must be with new light weight plastic shell of the “Turbo Snail” variety.

Readers wishing to know more about turbo snails are directed to this web link –

http://www.liveaquaria.com/product/prod_display.cfm?c=497+526+571&pcatid=571

CDCC ended on 144-6 off only 18 overs.

Cattistock on their small ground gave our bowlers a bit of a bashing and kept up with the required run rate.

Talking of bashing “Marky – Marky”, which is the only way he could have one of those posh double barrelled names, took several blows to the body, while bowling and fielding. He now has only one of everything, but nothing more can be said due to the sensitive readers who may be out there.

Wickets began to fall as Elliot-Square and Coates-Dale took on the bowling duties with the Zebedee slow to keep up with the scorebook. Understandable with all those double barrelled names floating about! (Everyone should be called ‘Smith’ I say).

Down to the last two overs and Cattistock, seemingly out of it, gain renewed “bonkablility” such that they could still tie the match if they hit the last ball for six.

E T E-S bowls, the batsman skies the ball to the mid wicket boundary and there is the redoubtable ‘Turbo Snail’ underneath it. Have you ever heard of a snail catching a cricket ball? – A bit like the old joke of a horse running between the wickets!

Turbo Snail pulls off the miraculous and takes the catch the width of a snail’s shell from the front of the boundary tree and we win again!

Off to the ‘Fox and Out of Bounds’ for a beer – Cheers!

‘Charlton Down Herald Roving Reporter’